Preserving Peace

Sitting on the couch I had come to appreciate at my psychologist's office, I remember her telling me how my body reacts to stress. I hadn’t been myself, I felt lost and my body was constantly in pain.  “Sometimes”, she said, “medication is necessary to just bring stability.” I listened and nodded as I had done over the weeks, it made sense and I agreed with her; after all, everything had taken a toll on me.  I was tired all the time for lack of sleep, and ailments of all kinds from ear and throat infections, ovarian cysts, ulcers, persisting coughs, and colds not only plagued my body for months but also increased anxiety. She explained that loss was different from any other type of mental health problem because it could come unexpectedly in different degrees, triggered by the most unusual things.  For me, having woken up about six times at night to help my mother to the bathroom, anxiety would kick in around the time when she would’ve woken me up, only this time, she w

I had the whole of last month panned out.  My content, my studies and all the extra things I do after work were all taken into account when I planned, but it was not long after my commitment to minimalism that the wheels began to fall off.  Have you ever had the kind of day where everything and everyone demanded your attention in such a way, it made it near impossible to get to your to-do list?  The problem with that is it then forces you to add today’s to-do list to tomorrow's. It just so happened that that became my week.  A week which then became my month!  It was so bad that I honestly thought the last thing I should be doing was writing on preserving peace because that was the one fruit of the spirit which had fallen off my tree.  But then, as the busyness started to subside, and I had a chance to quieten down, I had a time of introspection where I realized that there were a couple of things I could have done better to avoid being in that frizzled, high-strung state.  Things

We all at some time or other have come into the presence of a cancerous personality.  A person who seeks to pull you into their negative world and does nothing but rob you of your quality of life.    Some may have dated one and even more sadly married one.    If that is you, I sympathize!   The truth  of the matter is, it’s a draining job.   I recall a conversation I once had with a person of narcissistic tendencies.   They spoke for about 30 minutes and dominated the conversation  and it was at the point where t hey shut my advice down a number of times did I realize that I had become their trash can.   By the end of what seemed so torturous, they left, “happier” while I was emotionally drained.   I've also many a time been confronted with people who are by nature  emotional bullies. The people who feed off the misery of others because, in their minds, they're superior, have all the answers and everyone else is too weak too run their own lives.   In order to be truly con

Developing a minimalistic lifestyle The first time I learned about minimalism, was from a friend who sent me a video on YouTube explaining how the concept worked.   In the video, there were two men who were gifted in the art of rhetoric.   Their argument was that in the world we live in, where everyone’s trying to “Keep up with the Kardashians,” we’ve lost sight of the things which should be really important to us.   Using a cellphone as an example they continued that most people would wait in ridiculously long queues from early hours of the morning to get their hands on the latest iPhone, but, who lacked the social skills to engage with the people around them. It made sense to me and I agreed that the world we live in has become the greediest it’s ever been, but at the point when they went as far as living in a house with just the bare essentials, they lost me. I am not one to go that extreme with anything but I see the value in what the core idea behind minimalism is.   From wh

Creating a safe haven – Part II Internal peace In personality psychology, a term called locus of control refers to the two areas which either influence you, or, you influence. External, which are the things you have no control over like the weather and your environment, and internal which are the things you have the ability to change. The enthusiasm you have toward life, your attitude, the extent of which you love others and allow others to love you are within your control.  When life happens, people could either lean more toward one or the other or be balanced with both giving them a clear view and understanding of what thoughts should predominantly occupy their mind to be at, or keep their peace.  Those influenced by the external environment tend to be more high strung, complain a lot and feel victimized by their circumstances.  They have a passive approach to life and aren’t proactive because, to them, their efforts wouldn’t change anything even if they tried.   The key

Colour It was Pablo Picasso who once said that “Colours, like features, follow the changes of the emotions”.   No matter our consciousness of the matter, colour has the ability to affect our mood.   Most colours have a universal meaning.   In primary school, we're taught that red, yellow and orange are warm colours.   We see sunrises and sunsets and feel warm and fuzzy inside.   Conversely, red could denote anger, rage and passion.   Cool colours like blue, green and purple are what their name suggests synonymous with calmness, collectedness and the cooler things in life. In different cultures, colours signify different things.   Where a white wedding dress is a sign of purity at a western wedding, in the eastern part of the world, it’s worn when mourning. Psychologically, colours have impacted lives as far back as the early Egyptians who used colour for holistic benefits.   According to an article on the history of colour psychology , red was known to increase circul

In the book, “Think and Grow Rich“, Napoleon Hill wrote, “Thoughts are things, and powerful things at that….” It makes you wonder, doesn’t it?   Sociology has a term called a self-fulfilling prophecy.   It is when what you are convinced of in your mind influences your behavior subconsciously creating the thing you imagined. Indeed thoughts can become things. According to the World Health Organization , 300 million people in the world suffer from depression and 260 million people live with anxiety disorders.   To put it in perspective, that’s a little over the population of North Korea.   With stats like these, I’m sure you would agree that it’s valuable looking for ways to ease anxiety. 1.   Start a gratitude journal I remember when my therapist suggested journaling to me.   It sounded good when she explained the benefits of getting my thoughts on paper, but when I was alone with my mind, it would either just go blank or I’d get distracted.   So what I found much ea

For anyone who has experienced the loss of a close family member, you would agree that it isn’t the burial that’s the most difficult.    It’s carrying on without them.    It’s coming home and they not there.    It’s realizing you will never hear their voice again and never get to hold them.    It’s the painful truth that, if they were a pillar in your life as my mother was in mine, the biggest storm you ever faced would be done without them, because their passing was the cause of it. It’s an emotional storm that rages on without consent, as your heart feels things you never thought you would ever feel. Peace is a foreign concept and the memory of you once having it becomes distant as depression and anxiety lay at the foot of the door of your heart, eager to creep in. Even the overcast sky with its rolling fierce clouds and flashes of lightning fails to reflect the storm of my emotions in your mind. I’ll never forget the day I watched my mother take her last breath. She had suf